How to Burn Time

Oh, wow people! I take a month off from blogging and suddenly everyone is up in arms! It's mighty nice that I've been missed, because to tell the truth I thought for sure I could slip out of the Blogosphere with nary a ripple. Such a relief it is, a warm and tingly feeling, to know that I have angry ranting friends to threaten... I meant, encourage me.

I think I've set my goals too high, because I was hoping that each and every thought I wrote would be well formed, complete, and meaningful, which means I've absolutely scared the crap out of myself as far as ever writing anything again. The thoughts have been forming - oh, they've been forming - but they never go past that embryonic "fishy-gill" stage. You know, like the photograph biologists put into textbooks to freak out middle school students, where they say that this little pink tadpole which might develop into a shark, or maybe an elephant, or maybe a human being, and the plain fact is that if you too, little Jimmy, had taken a wrong turn in the womb, you would have been birthed as a tunicate. But wait, I'm rambling. The point isn't so much that my potential blog posts haven't been developing, but that I've been so absolutely distracted that I seem to wander off and leave them as in a daze, the writer's ADD, never fully able to concen. . . look! A chicken!

Enough of that nonsense. Here are the things that a person can do instead of blogging:

1. Make ceviche. This is where you chemically cook raw fish by soaking it in lime juice. So far I have lasted six hours, and my ceviche hasn't killed me yet. One point of interest though - if they tell you to use papaya, use papaya. You would think a mango would fit the bill, as it is an orangey football shaped sort of mini-papaya, but alas, it does not.

2. Finally learn what all those terms you've been using at the coffee shop actually mean. No wonder I've never liked macchiato...!

3. Put gas in car. Change oil in car. Detail car. Put gas in car. Fix window on car. Fix transmission on car. Have long conversation with manufacturer about why the heck your car needs transmission fixed. Put gas in car. Change tires on car. Go back to the beginning and repeat (with variations) ad nauseum or until cash flow completely dries up. Check out library book about bike tuning.

4. Become a zomie sub-human parked in front of a television with no one for miles around who can say, "You're watching that?!" See how long it takes to no longer have a pulse.

5. Learn to fingerpick. After several days of fingerpicking, consider locating a guitar.

Okay, now I'm just being silly. Honestly, in the morrow I'll sit down and write something more coherent.

Legal terms: "Morrow" may refer to any point of time between April 21st 2008 and June 17th 2008. Offer not valid in Canada.

5 comments:

Erin said...

How do they make the macchiato at your coffee shop because Starbucks gets it completely wrong!

If you ever want coffee info, ask me :) I have tonnnnnnnnnnns of coffe knowledge sitting in my head with nowhere to go!

(Nice to see you blogging again!)

-W- said...

It's not the flavor or the color of the fruit, but the acidity and the enzymes--those actually cook the fish! Papaya is full of digestive enzymes; in fact, for people with weak stomach acids, doctors recommend taking papaya tablets.

I have missed your blogging voice very much!

Monster Librarian said...

Welcome back! Blog about your's and TSO's plans for Alaska!!

Kt said...

MLS, I will!

W, I know, I know. It's just that you can't come by papaya easily in this town, and I thought I'd try a reasonable substitution. I completely forgot to add cilantro, too, despite the fact that I have a gigantic bunch of it sitting in the fridge. It was a haphazard (but yummy!) ceviche all around.

E, the Starbucks way is the way I like it, which is why I've been so confused as to why it's been such a hit and miss in other coffee shops. Now I know that it's supposed to be almost straight espresso, and can I drink black coffee? No. I need all that good lovin' sugar Starbucks adds to make it go down.

Ironic, since it was a SB macchiato that originally got me hooked on zee coffee.

Erin said...

:) If you are ever in a non-SB-macchiato environment, ask for a caramel and vanilla latte :)

It's basically the same thing. I think.