Impressions of Homer:

-artsy fartsy
-tourists confined to segregated area (known as "the Spit")
-pay money, catch halibut, take pictures with halibut
-$20 sandwich: white bread, PB & J
-locals say "yeah, lots of eagles, beautiful mountains, blah blah blah"
-alarming lack of fresh seafood
-bald eagle wants to eat your dog

Impressions of Seward:

-cool without trying to be cool
-every marine creature and bird comes here at least once in their life, for it is lush
-city camping on the beach, heck yeah (minus irritatingly loud Asian family next door at midnight and again at 5am)
-amazing tours, no advertising, which you discover after you've already left
-alarming lack of fresh seafood
-Exit Glacier biding its time to retake the world

Impressions of Girdwood:

-11pm? time for everyone to wander the streets!
-dead cars going "dust to dust" in random spots in the forest
-sketchiest city campground ever
-best combination camping/defunct gold mine ever
-reasonable lack of fresh seafood
-ski lodge wants to eat your baby and your dog
-now featuring bread-free bakeries

Impressions of Haines:

-we're friendly, but we don't like you
-10 art galleries, 1 artist
-uncluttered by plumbers, mechanics, or anyone who knows how to replace toilet paper/soap/towels in bathrooms
-our faces will break if we smile
-thousands of eagles can be seen at all other times of the year, just not today
-8oz wrongfully delicious Muffin Cake
-fresh seafood, but guarded by a cranky old man who will snap at any moment
-we are only tolerating you, give us your money

Impressions of Juneau:

-amazingly buff Juneaun thighs
-grey, cold, warm, sunny, rainy, grey
-quality souvenirs for the low low price of $999.99!
-finding skyline from water comparable to Where's Waldo? with massive cruise ships
-fresh seafood location: pricey restaurant plate
-Seattle's younger, rowdy little cousin
-it's 6pm and we're going home and we don't care that you're on vacation because we're here all year and if you have to get on the boat before we open and can't buy your little Made in Tawain "Alaskan" eskimo child doll then you're screwed, aren't you?


Monster Librarian said...

What is this, "amazingly buff Juneaun thighs?" I want to hear more about that! MEOW! ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHA THAT WAS a very entertaining blog sis!
HAPPY 4th of JULY!
Love, Keeb

Kt said...

Sadly, MLS, we saw mostly "amazingly pasty cruise ship thighs" while we were in Juneau. We just came up with a theory that since the hills in that city are so steep and since it's impractical to drive muchh (the roads being narrow), real Juneauns must hoof it around and get quite buff. Meow is right.